OK so with this being my 5th time touring in the land of the rising sun you would think that I would have a full grasp of the basics here now.
But well, quite frankly. I`m still as confused as ever about some things.
On a night off in Chiba I went drinking with some friends and after a couple of beers I politely made my excuses and trotted off to spend a yen.
I was however confronted with mega confusion as the two toilets were labeled only with Kanji 男 and 女.
What with the polite factor in Japan being up to 11; I decided to take a guess at one toilet with the hope of making a quick job of it and then getting out without the hope of anyone seeing me potentially depart from the wrong door.
Luckily for me it was only a number 1 stop and so having finished the job I hoped to exit as soon as I had flushed. Which brings me to my next problem.
Toilets in Japan are the most advanced in the world. You can have some life affirming experiences whilst pressing the vitreous. Spray can come at you in ways you never imagined whilst electronic voices speak to you in a language you don`t understand.
However.
This can mean finding a simple flush mechanism to be a challenge. What with the uncertainty of even being in the right toilet creating a crystal maze style time limit to the whole conundrum I eventually decided the only solution was to panic and get out.
If only Richard O`Brien was there to tell me how much time I had left maybe I wouldn`t have panicked so. I`m just sorry for who-ever was next.
It turned out I was in the right place (Well it was 50/50).
And as traumatic as the experience was at least I didn`t have to deal with the traditional style.
PS – this post by NO means suggests I would like to share a toilet with Richard O`Brien!!
Stuart O'Connor 
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